growthI recently had a client questioning if they should stay in a relationship.  The person they were seeing seemed to be “perfect”.  My client described them as loving, caring, kind and felt like a best friend.  When I asked if they were in love there was a silence.  “That is the problem, I’m not in love…..and I don’t understand why.”  We had an amazing session where we got clear the the person in question was comfortable, but there was no chemistry.  The client had prolonged leaving the relationship because if felt so safe.  I really understood that logic. I, myself, have stayed in relationships and jobs far too long, because I was afraid.

This kind of challenge often occurs when we are afraid to step into the unknown.  It isn’t just about relationships. It is about the choices you are making in family, with friends and career.  Many people say they are ready to grow AND THEN the reality hits when they are asked to make a choice that will create transition.

When I worked in corporate communications for a major company I was unhappy.  I knew I wanted to expand my counseling practice but I was afraid that letting my job go would create chaos for me and my family.  I complained, I cried, I fought the intuition telling me it was time to leave.  Here is the truth.  I didn’t trust that I would be supported.  I believed the job was my source. I was afraid that I would re-create the poverty of  my childhood. As long as I persisted in staying, I became more miserable.  The interesting thing is that I was quick to tell people to trust that the universe would take care of them.  I was totally out of integrity with what I said I believed.  I decided to deepen my spiritual practice to gain clarity.  This is what came forward.

Things to contemplate:

  • If you stay where you are there is no space for what you say you want
  • If you settle for less than you know you deserve you are telling the universe that this is enough
  • If you are unwilling to change, your life will stay the same

Those three statements caused to look at my limited thinking and take a leap of faith. It was not all comfortable but it was revelatory. I left the job, got invited to become an artist in residence (eventually led to being a minister there), invitations to sing and teach doubled.  The next year my client list tripled and I paid for my last year of ministerial school without debt.

Comfort is not necessarily your friend.  You are hear to grow and manifest a life that is joyous and expansive.  Trust your path and never settle for less than you deserve.

In love and light,


Cynthia James