Are You Emotionally Healthy?

Have you noticed that people are feeling stressed?  I see it all around me.  My clients have come in wanting to know how to handle their feelings around world challenges, the election, family dysfunction and frustration with work.  Many feel distressed, overworked and incapable of handling the surge of emotions that are flooding their lives.

Since emotional integration is my work, it is easy for me to witness that many of these emotional meltdowns are because our culture does not want to feel.  We will do almost anything to avoid the eruption of unresolved rage, disconnected experiences and age-old wounds.  Here is what is interesting…..I believe the healing is in the feeling.  The inability to go deep into what we are experiencing pushes us deeper into addictive and non-productive patterns.

I recently took a group on pilgrimage to an amazing 12-day retreat in Damanhur, Italy.  In the past, I had noticed that when I do this kind of immersion, I want to eat more.  Usually, it is food that has great sugar and fat content.  This time, I decided to do it differently.  I don’t smoke or drink so these things were not an issue.  However, I recently joined a program of no sugar, wheat, grains, caffeine or dairy and chose to honor my commitment, even while in Europe.  Now, I know some of you are thinking….is she crazy?  How do you go to Italy and not eat those things?

Well, here is what happened.  Because I had no sugar or fat to numb me out, I felt everything.  I was super sensitive and it brought in such clarity that I was amazed.  I had the beautiful opportunity of feeling my feelings and going deeper into the messages they brought.  The insights and revelations were astounding and I came back with renewed energy and focus.

diveNow, I am not telling you to change your diet.  What I am saying is that you might want to consider activating your “inner witness” and watching how often you avoid feeling by drowning your pain with an addictive behavior.  Here are a couple of questions that you might want to bring into your time of journaling and contemplation:

  1. What if these feelings had messages of healing?
  2. What is the worst that could happen if I feel this right now?
  3. What is the best that could happen if I open and feel this right now?
  4. What if I don’t use this “addiction” as a means of escape?
  5. What do I really want and how could these feelings assist me?

Try using this as an exercise for 15 days.  It may or may not create a big change. What it will do is bring you some amazing insights about your behavior and patterns.

Whatever you discover, I know it will serve you.

Much love and light,


Are you in the safety zone or growth zone?

growthI recently had a client questioning if they should stay in a relationship.  The person they were seeing seemed to be “perfect”.  My client described them as loving, caring, kind and felt like a best friend.  When I asked if they were in love there was a silence.  “That is the problem, I’m not in love…..and I don't understand why.”  We had an amazing session where we got clear the the person in question was comfortable, but there was no chemistry.  The client had prolonged leaving the relationship because if felt so safe.  I really understood that logic. I, myself, have stayed in relationships and jobs far too long, because I was afraid.

This kind of challenge often occurs when we are afraid to step into the unknown.  It isn’t just about relationships. It is about the choices you are making in family, with friends and career.  Many people say they are ready to grow AND THEN the reality hits when they are asked to make a choice that will create transition.

When I worked in corporate communications for a major company I was unhappy.  I knew I wanted to expand my counseling practice but I was afraid that letting my job go would create chaos for me and my family.  I complained, I cried, I fought the intuition telling me it was time to leave.  Here is the truth.  I didn’t trust that I would be supported.  I believed the job was my source. I was afraid that I would re-create the poverty of  my childhood. As long as I persisted in staying, I became more miserable.  The interesting thing is that I was quick to tell people to trust that the universe would take care of them.  I was totally out of integrity with what I said I believed.  I decided to deepen my spiritual practice to gain clarity.  This is what came forward.

Things to contemplate:

  • If you stay where you are there is no space for what you say you want
  • If you settle for less than you know you deserve you are telling the universe that this is enough
  • If you are unwilling to change, your life will stay the same

Those three statements caused to look at my limited thinking and take a leap of faith. It was not all comfortable but it was revelatory. I left the job, got invited to become an artist in residence (eventually led to being a minister there), invitations to sing and teach doubled.  The next year my client list tripled and I paid for my last year of ministerial school without debt.

Comfort is not necessarily your friend.  You are hear to grow and manifest a life that is joyous and expansive.  Trust your path and never settle for less than you deserve.

In love and light,


Cynthia James

Balance is an Inside Job

This last month has been fast paced.   My book tour is in full swing and I am appearing as a guest on numerous radio shows  and summits to promote the book.  It has been exhilarating and takes a great deal of energy.  One day I sat down and contemplated how to keep balance in my life. Especially, during  a time with so much activity.  During my meditation I had the thought “balance is an inside job.”  After the meditation I spent time journaling and I want to share with you my revelations.

  1. There must be clarity on what is most important to you
  2. There must be a willingness to prioritize
  3. There must a willingness to become still

balance yogaThose three items have become my focus as I move through this summer and fall.  Here are the ways I have put these things into practice.  Perhaps it might assist you in creating more balance in your life.

  1. Connected time with my husband, family/friends, focus and clarity in my work. Time with my husband is non-negotiable. We plan time to carve out “love time” since we are both very busy.  I consistently text, call and email my loved ones to stay connected.  I calendar my work and health life to stay on target.  I connect with my team once a week to stay focused.
  2. Every week I look at my calendar to make sure I am committed in all three areas. It is on my mastermind sheets and I can tick off things as I complete them.  Rest, healthy eating and workouts are a must.
  3. My spiritual practice happens for 1 ½ hours a day. It includes meditation, journaling and reading something that feeds my soul.

I have heard from many of you that you are seeking more balance. What I want you to know is that it will not happen magically.  There are so many things to distract us. You have to be clear and committed to moving inside of you and asking what and how to create harmony and balance.  Please remember … deserve a life where harmonic convergence is the norm.

Much love and light,


Do You Know Who You Are?

I have really been in the inquiry of who I am and why am I here on the planet at this time.  I have recently experienced fabulous highs as I grow. I have also felt extreme sadness and frenetic emotions as we, the world, experience more violence and unconscious acts.  I really had to look at my conscious and unconscious beliefs around separation and discord.  I have been forced to take responsibility for my thoughts and actions. I have also come to some amazing revelations that now color my choices moving forward.

I want to share with you my process in hopes that it will encourage you to explore who you are and why you are here.woman_child_mirror


  • The familial dysfunction of my childhood.
  • Choices/mistakes that created pain for me or others.
  • Only a woman, African American, or baby boomer.
  • The incessant voices that appear at times telling me to be afraid and judgmental.


  • A brilliant expression of grace in form.
  • Here to make a difference in this lifetime.
  • A woman of independent means dedicated to love in action.
  • Here to shine my light and share my gifts.
  • A member of the family called humanity.


  • To bring the best of me into every situation.
  • Remember that every human being wants to be loved, seen and heard.
  • To place my attention and conversations on what I want to grow not what I see that supports separation.
  • To be a voice of inclusion and connectivity.
  • To remember who I am and invite others to do the same.

Wherever you are in this moment, know that you are important.  You are here by divine design and you are a change agent.  Your only job is to remember to stay awake and choose love and kindness.

Much love and light,



We Are All Connected

This has been such an incredible time.   So many of us are questioning what it means to be on the planet at this time.  Terrorism, shootings and political showdowns are everywhere in the news.  So much of the information does not support our remembering that we are all part of one human family.  In other words, we are connected.heart-947441_1920

Personally, I have had to do work to feel what I am feeling. The feelings of loss, upset, heartbreak and even anger can flood into my consciousness in a blink of an eye.  I know that feeling is way better than stuffing or running from these emotions.  I also know that even thought I always pray, sometimes it is not enough.  I have to remind myself to remember what I believe.  This is what is on my website.

  • I believe every person and organization has a unique destiny, vision and purpose.
  • I believe that opening to the vision creates a synergy that is powerful and dynamic.
  • I believe that each person and organization has a unique capacity to be of service to the community and world at large.
  • I believe that open-hearted communication builds bridges of understanding and expansion.
  • I believe that the power of creativity and compassion is healing and transformational.
  • I believe that powerful choices create powerful lives

When I tap into what I believe it is clear that I AM the only one responsible for my feelings, behaviors and reactions.  Yes, there are undesirable things happening today. Yes, we don’t all agree. Yes, some people are horribly unconscious.

AND…..there are many loving, kind, generous, caring, forgiving and humble human beings on this planet.  That is why we can have prayers, rituals and vigils all over the world when crisis hits. The question becomes where do we each choose to put our attention and energy.

Personally, I choose love and to place my attention on being the person I know I was meant to be.

Love and Light,

Trust Walk

cynthai_james_greatnessMany years ago I worked with teens at the Agape International Spiritual Center in Los Angeles. We were supporting them in becoming more focused and confident. One of the exercises we used was a trust walk.  One person was blind folded and their partner led them on a walk.  They could not see and had to trust their partner.  This proved to be challenging for most of the students.  In discussions following the exercise, the young people who were blind folded shared about not feeling safe.  They didn't want to give control of their safety to another and there was little trust that the partner would take care of them.  The ones leading were afraid that they might not lead well and their partner would get hurt.  The interesting thing is that each person could “feel” the fear in the other and that accelerated their own discomfort.


That exercise and those conversations have stayed with me all this time.  Most of my clients want to work on TRUST.  They don’t trust others and many of them lack self-trust in varying degrees.  The definition of trust is: firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.  That sounds simple right?  However, the words that stick out to me are “firm belief”.  As a child my firm belief was that I was not safe and violence was the norm. I was hyper-vigilant and scared most of the time.


It took many years for me to learn to trust myself and others.  Here are some tools that might support you in a TRUST WALK with yourself.


  1. Check the perception lens that life is viewed through. If you are looking at life through the field of fear, doubt and mistrust - that is what you will create.
  2. Learn to access and listen to your intuition. Are you following your “gut instincts” or wanting others to make decisions for you?  You have a powerful inner knowing.  Accessing it, listening to it and trusting it take practice.
  3. Pause if there is any doubt in the direction you are going. We are living in an accelerated time and want to get things done now.  The challenge is that decisions made in haste can create chaos and confusion.  Take time to do research, create a plan and use forward thinking to anchor your choices.
  4. Make sure people DO what they SAY. Trust is built over time and people consistently showing up in authentic and honest ways creates a foundation of honor and respect.


You are the most important person in your life and you are brilliant.  Take time to learn to trust yourself and you will attract trustworthy people. You will feel safer, more joyous and have more clarity.


I trust that you are on an amazing journey of fulfillment and expansion.

Love and light,

Rev Cynthia James

The Power in the Possible

The Power in the PossibleSix years ago my husband and I put in a road on our property. It led from our house to the horse barn and meadow. The purpose was to make it easier to get to the lower level of the property and to create access to a future studio. At the time, we did not have the funds to build a studio. It was just a dream. We carved out the space for the studio and for the next 5 years I would invite visitors into our vision. I asked them to activate their imagination and walk into the lower level. I asked them to see a space for retreats and a room for guest clients to stay. I then walked them up the imaginary stairs to the photo/video space where Carl would work his magic for clients wanting photographs and videos for their work. The experience was fun for our guests and for me it was clearly anchoring the possibility into form in my mind. I was inviting the invisible into the visible. [Read more...]

Step into the YES!

yesI have been putting a lot of attention on saying “yes” to my life. What does that mean? For me, it is about opening to all of the goodness that is available for my life. I’m not talking about living in a dream world. I believe that the universe it set up to support our greatness in the world. Our task is to learn to say yes to the things that inspire and nurture us. So, I am personally exploring what it means to really be willing to receive vast amounts of abundance in every area of my life. [Read more...]

Taking Inventory

01-16 New StartWelcome to a new beginning. Welcome to 2016. I am meeting so many people that are excited about this time in history because they have a sense that something great is happening. I, too, feel that this time is a representation of my changes in consciousness and new choices. [Read more...]

Radical Self Care

Radical Self CareThere are times in our lives when we are unusually busy; and, for some people this is a lifestyle. The holiday season is especially a time when we can lose our sense of self care. There are family events, business affairs, community responsibilities, and sometimes feelings of being alone and even separate. Let us address, what I like to call, Radical Self Care. [Read more...]